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The Saga of Steph

Feb. 17th, 2006 01:59 am

THere's just alot of stuff going on right now, ranging from social, family, school, work, and my own internal stuff and sometimes it feels too much. Too Overwhelming but i know its all ok...everything is ok...im still blessed with a great life and people, but sometimes........stuff gets hard. This song brings out so many emotions in me...whatever the situation...la.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

P.S. Id like to be an angel, i sure wouldlike a halo and wings! (well ok not all of them have that stuff i know, just go withme here)

Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed

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Jan. 6th, 2006 12:39 am

ok i know there's like 3 updates in a row here but i realized i had someting out of orderor someting..bascially stephanie doesnt know how to use the live journal site cery well so the last two or three entires are out of order..but it doesnt matter a hwole lot..blah

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Jan. 6th, 2006 12:37 am

I spell checked and used paragraphs!!!

ok quick update cause i realize i havent updated in a while aboust stuff in general. The dude i was dating before christmas break.....well thats over. We only hung out a little bit and dated but it was fun. He was a pretty cool guy and i really had fun with him so no regrets there. Im just glad i got to experience it. I guess now im kind of nervous about working next semester cause im working more hours in the section he worked (a coffee shop) and im pretty sure he's gonna keepthe same hours and stuff. I know i can be comfortable around him at work (i already kind of have been) i just hope he doesnt make it weird which i doubt he will. He seems like the kind of person who would be pretty cool about it. But yeah it occured to me that i havent updated about that thing for a good month or so (thats roughly when we stopped dating i guess you could say) so just so peoples could know.

I go back sat though i really really dont want to. I havent really gotten a chance to hang out with everyone i wanted to. I mean this week is full of hang outage with old friends but i just wish i had more time to see everyone, but knowing me i can cram anything into this last week.

I hung out with Mark and some of his friends the other day. We went to Fry's, applebees, starbucks, and then a movie at the mall. It was so much fun! i admit i was nervous about hanging out with 2 others i ahd never met and me being the only girl (cause sometimes guys can just be hard to be the only girl around with) but it was great, no awkwardness at all. I mean i can be comfortable around almost anyone and pretty friendly and talkative, the only time im not if they're mean or something (or if its one of those girl mood days) It was fun. There was kind of/almost and incident at the mall. To make a long story short i was on the phone, this dude came up to me and started saying things, i went back to mark and his friends and then the dude started saying things to them, by the time i could get off the phone (it was my dad and he wasnt letting me off) i saw the guy's friends come take him away but it looked like there was about to be a couple of hits thrown. Neither mark, brandon or matt would tell me what the guy said except that he was just saying inapproprate things about me i guess. Gosh they look pissed, like i said to the point where it looked like brandon was about to throw a punch. I felt so horrilbe! i know nothing was my fault but i would have felt terrible if a fight had started and i already felt bad cause i didnt mean to cause problems. I dont get why some people are like that, just mean or inappropriate (whether guy or girl) i mean do they really think thats the right way to act towards someone? honestly...ok no more time on that.

But yeah i had fun with mark and them, awesome people. And you know somethign really weird but cool, i have never EVER been treated as nice when i was with them. I mean the smallest things from letting me go first everywhere we went and holding doors open (that was really weird cause i wasnt used to that at all) and just the way they talked to me in the conversations..i mean it was with just so much respect! I know that probably all sounds weird and i am in no way saying that the people i always hang out with dont respect me or anythign like that! but i dunno, i guess ive never had any guys (friends or other) treat me like that before. It was just different thats all. Mark has always been awesome but it just seemed different i guess. And i am in no way bashing any past relationship or friend or ANYTHING! Im just not used to it, trust me i do not have to be treated like some little princess at all. Its never really appealed to me (well ok most of the time, but you know us girlies, we like to be treated nice sometimes) It just kind of blew me away how great they treated me. It wasnt that guy thing where they're nice only because they want to date you or something. It was actually because they were considerate and respectful and i dunno, just a neat change i guess. I just cant remember being treated that nice in a long long time (wow that sounds pathetic doesnt it?) i dont mean it in a sad way, i think its all coming out wrong. Im just meaning it as a statement. ARG...im reading over this and im hoping its not comng out wrong..BASICALLY it was really cool how awesome they were towards me. cool people

I went to sarah's new years eve party and that was alot of fun, got to see alot of people from highschool and that is always awesome, i love all those peoples. My pappy and nana came up from houston too to spend thenight with us but they left early sunday, like right after lunch. I wasnt able to go to church cause of when they were gonna leave so that kind of bummed me out cause i love my church here, but its ok i guess. Ill try extra hard to come back one weekend and stuff.

Today we're takin down the big decorations in the yard..manger scene (for those of you who havent seen it its like the biggest anyone has ever seen...ok maybe im exaggerating, its mainly the manger thats gonna be a chore) and then gradually take down all the lights over this next week. I think im gonna go to starbucks after we're done today to study for the GRE test, BLAH. Tomorrow im gonna hang out with Jake (he's an old friend from Braums and we lost touch. But...we got in re-contact with each other! i had lost his screename and then found it and yeah, confusing i know) So thats gonna be awesome! cant wait!

I love my Kelly, she's a pooper and a booger but i love her all the same. My duckies are also little poops but i love them too. Im gonna go now, i have lost inspiratoin to write...either that or my dad is calling me trying to get me to go outside and work. toodles see ya

PS I know i hardly ever update, but hey i make up for it with the length of my entries right? Don worry, its already been advised that i should update more often with shorter entries...this will be taken into consideration.

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Jan. 6th, 2006 12:36 am

I GOT A PICTURE UP!!!!! Im so happy it let me do it...and i figured it out all by myself! excited stephanie.

TUesday night i hung out with jake and that was fun!!! omigosh i got a bowling pin! ok u may think im crazy BUT too bad so sad..i really wanted a bowling pin and i mentioned that to jake. And how i wanted an old one and then i wondered what the life of a bowling pin woulld be like and stuff like that..well when i was changing shoes he went and talked to someone who works there and then he came out with a bowling pin! my bowling pin!!! i thought it was so incredibly awesome...the pin's name is scoos (dont ask) We went to hastings, bowling, walmart and subway (i know, a little strange hangnoing out at wally world but u can have fun anywhere honestly) I had a blast! AND complete gentlemen the whole time, its suprising how little things like opening ur car door can shock u when ur not used to it (ok im probably sounding dumb here), but when people are like that then itjust reminds me of just good things, ok i need to work on my gift with words here. He's insanely cool, we're supposed to hang out again before i leave so funness there!

I hope i get to see everyone tonight after the bands playing thing...i cant go to the acutal concert part cause i need to spend time with family and then study. I took kelly to vet, she's good but she's getting older which is why she's beenahving some problems, i refuse for her to get old, i loved seeing everyone up at the vet though. Well i gotta go pick up my sis at school! im already gonna be late (bad stephanaie) talk to everyone later toodles see ya

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Jan. 3rd, 2006 03:46 pm

I was looking at ears the other day and realized how funny but cool they are. I think they are one of the strangest body parts we have...just their shape and all the little grooves and stuff. And then the fact that they go all the way into your head and it allows to hear! I mean if you really really think about it then its pretty amazing actually, that we are designed so precisely and intricately (of course by you know who!!!) See, its when i think of this stuff that i don't understand how some people dont believe that there's a God who loves us and created us. I mean i think science is related to how God created this world and all the living creatures and stuff (dont worry i know this can be a very controversial subject so ill try not to say too much...and i dont want it to come out wrong on here) but still.....some (well alot more than some) who think that we're all just random here, nothing more to our existence than blah blah, it makes me sad and i wish there was something i could do...well something more. It just frustrates me but also makes me sad when people are closed minded..on both sides.

Wow that all came from no where! I just think its so awesome about how God planned everything..like all the little details in life that i always take for granted. He knew exactly what he was doing. I mean how our body systems work, our atmosphere and metabolism, its just cool to think about and i can make myself dizzy with it. ok im going now...i was just thinking about alot of that. Right now im just in a fascinated mood...like everything around me just amazes me and i dont know why. IM GOING NOW....sorry for the randomness (well actually no im not sorry for randomness...but i thought id say it anyways) lala toodles see ya

Current Mood: excitedexcited

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Dec. 31st, 2005 02:32 am

Man....emotions sometmies just blow my mind away. All im gonna say is that im feeling someting and its getting me scared and i dont know. I mean the more i think about it i can figure out why im getting nervous and scared. (dont worry its no old feelings or anything like that...heck no) Just some unexpected ones i guess that ive been thinking ive felt for a while but i guess ive been either denying them or ignoring them. and i still have a while to figure things out, heck even if i did make a decision i dont know if anything would happen cause i dont know if im ready for anything yet, not like that. and i know he used to kind of like me a little but that stuff fades, i have no idea though, thats not really the main reason im so confused over all this. Mainly im just confused in my own thoughts and feelings and what i want but then what im scared of. Nt scared of rejection or anything, for some reason i can handle that, i guess of just other stuff...I HAVE NO IDEA. Cause i know if i would want to try someting with this person i would want it for the intentions of seeing if someting serious could come of it, and i know serious is not what i need right now (not because im not ready in the sense of maybe having feelings of past stuff cause thats not it cause honestly i hardly have any there at all) but more in the sense where i konw its good for me to date. I havnet had alot of expeirence at all. Its healthy and i need this, i know, but the again i dunno. I refuse to decide anything till summer at least that way ill be back here and can think maybe more clearly about this? I just know that if something were to happen that summer could be too late, cause im pretty sure he has no idea im confused and stuff like this which it wil stay that way for now. I dont want to say anything whatsoever now cause im afraid id mess with his head or he might feel like he should wait for me which he should NOT at all (im not saying he feels the same way which i do think he may feel some but i dont know anymore really, but yeah im not sayin he does for sure have feelings or woudl wait, im just saying if he still does im afraid he may think he should wait and then that could get both our hopes up and i dont even want to go there, i dont wnat to plan stuff, just let it happen, thats how the good stuff happens). If God wants it to happen then it eventally will, honestly thats good for me. Part of me would like to say something, but most of me kows what i should do. I honestly am going to wait. Ill see how this semester goes, see what God is telling me in this area, see if i can overcome my fears and see what my feelings say, and where him and i are in each others lives Ill decide from there if i should take any action, for all i know absolutely nothing will happen and that will work out great, but then of course you have the other end of the spectrum...i dont want to mess up either one of our lives (not that i would mess everythign up but you know, it woulc definetly make things confusing, i would only want to do it if i knew it wouldnt put too much pressure or burden on him (depending on how things in his life are giong) i know none of this is making sense at all, but i just need to get this all out somewhere. Basically i think i may be feeling something, ive kind of thought it for a little bit but im def not gonna act on anything until im sure. Last thing i want to do is make an irrational decision that could cost me a friend and cause poooo. Im just gonna see whatlife leads and where God wants me to go with this. Wellim gonna stop with the vaguness of trhis entry and blah cause im sureits annoying the heckout of some people but sorry, not gonna spill. You can try to get me to but i wont. Im diong great! i love thie break and i love all my friend! toodles see ya

Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful

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Dec. 2nd, 2005 05:45 pm

LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!!!!!

HASH(0x8c7b070)
Viktor Krum
You go for the 'strong, silent type'. All
masculine, ready to protect you in a heartbeat,
all this guy needs is a girl to bring him out
of his shy shell. Some things don't need to be
spoken to be understood!


Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


Ilike it.

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Nov. 27th, 2005 04:23 pm

So i like this guy....he's pretty cool. I just love hanging out with him cause its alot of fun (though its at weird hours during the night) I'm acutally gonna ask him if he may possibly want to do something during the day sometime but then well, we boht have class during the day and he works most fri, sat, and sun nights (not every time but most of them) so by the time both of us are free its like 1:30, 2:00 in the morning....the only thing we're able to do is maybe taco c and then hang out at his house for a while, so i end up not getting back till wee hours of the morning. (we hung out last night and stuff) If we hang out a couple of more times and its just only at his house or late/early morn stuff then im gonna bring up trying to do something during the day on one of the weekends (i mean really, we've only been talking a week or so so im not in a rush to be all "hey you need to take me out on a date" but we'll just see)...he's jsut so funny though...and scary thing is he reminds me so much of my dad ....yeah, scares me.

HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!! (well taht was a few days ago) It was great...and im having fun. I guess im just wonderin now how things might get causeof christmas break. If we're still talking im just wonderin if we'll be serious enough to see each other or if it will kind of die down...i hope no die downage, that would stink. Ill take that as it comes, for all i know we may not really be hitting it off all tha great by then, or it coudl be gong freakishly awesome. I think he's supposed to be outta of town the next few days though, im not sure, so next time ill see him probaly be at work. But yeah just thought id update people on that. Im talking to this guy, nothing serious but i do like him. I guess i thought i was afraid of getting my hopes up cause i had such a huge crush on him and was wonderin if when i got to know him if id be like "hmmm, well never mind" but so far so good. So yeah, we'll see how things go there. Im gonna admit, its a little odd to be callin me up at 2 or 3 in the morning, but like i said, so far im kind of understanding it. I mean im busy, i know that, but he's real busy person too. Part of me wonders if anything serious did happen between us if either one of us would really have time for it. Imean i know you can make time for stuff if you really want to (it can be hard and stressful) but imjust happy i dont really have to worry about it yet. Everything is still in those early early beginning stages where its all fun and you're jsut finding out about each other andhaving no commitment or tie downs but till liking each other, hard to explain, but its cool. And i figure well, if anything does happen it may just take forever and a day cause he seems like that type of person, but its ok, im def NOT in a rush for anything. But again i will say...i like him alot and i think he's really awesome.

So yeah other than that all thas goin on is im trying to survive classes...im about to jump on studyage in a sec. Game was pimp, turkey day was good, a little down just cause didnt see famly much..i felt like i was sleeping in a garage caue there was no carpet in my room...suddenly i dontfeel like y ping anymore. Probably cause mainly i wanted to talk abot that guy...ok...bye bye

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Nov. 22nd, 2005 07:29 am

Well this cant be too long cause i have to leave for ice skating class in about 10 min or so..but im just gonn say this quickly and hopefully short and sweet will be the way to go on here.

He invited me to his house yesterday to watch a movie. I was SOOOOOOOOO nervous....like pee in my pants kind of nervous. Especially since we were gonna watch a movie and i was afraid of it being weird or awkward. IT WENT GREAT!!!!! I just felt so comfortable around him!!!! He held my hand and even kissed the back of my head a few times!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
LLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
SORRY, just picture me making alot of weird noises and you'll get the just of whats goin on. And i looove talking with him, he seems so awesome...and he geniuly seems to be interested in what i say (or well, i can tell he thinks its interesting and a little peculiar but it seems like its a good thing) The goodbye didnt go all that great butt he kid was practically falling alseep. It was hilarious. At first i was a little miffed casue i was there and everything but then i just found it hilarious, especially when i to actually wake the guy up (we were laying down watching tv so we were both acutally gettin tired and stuff) He liked jumped and started awake and i yelled cause he scared me so bad...it was hilarious!!!! Anyways he said he would talk to me tomorrow (today) so we'll see if that was talkage or if he meant it. To me it seemed like the evening went great, i just hope it seemed the same way on his end too. Ok hav to go to class, but im so excited!

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Nov. 20th, 2005 07:02 pm longness ahead

THIS IS LONG, BUT I PROMISE TYPOS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!! I ACTUALLY PROOFREAD IT AND EVERYTHING!!!!

I'm having so much fun right now. I think im gonna like say on here what ive been realizing this pas months or so. It might be a pretty dang long entry but, here it goes. (ill try to be good with the typos).

I've gotten real happy the past months, not just some temporary kind of happy, but im talking joy. Its really neat and I love it. Its incredibly hard to explain and ive tried telling a few and it just comes out weird, but im gonna do it on here the best i can. This joy or happiness has nothing to do with stuff going on here at a&m. Actually my grades have never been worse, stress has never been this bad, and there hasn't been anythingin the boy department for a while (well, except VERY recently whcih i will tell that at the end) Cause i know my last entry or two was abot a guy but like i said, doesnt really have much to do with it. Ill explain about that at the end. Anyways, things have been so good for me, like internally i guess. Im feeling great most of the time and for no apparant reason, but i think ive figured it out. Ive found an internal peace, and its GREAT! I havent been this content with my life since before josh and i broke up, but i mean even before that too. At the end of his and mine relastionship i wasnt happy (neither one of us were) and it was hard for me to see that, took a while. And now i just feel so content and satisfied with myself and my life. I love my friends, my environment, who i am, all my opportunities whether career, social, dating, anything, everything is just open to me and i have to make my own decisions and figure out who i am. I have absolutley loved this "quest" if you wanna call it to well, look for me! it may sound kind of corny but thats what its felt like. Dnot get me wrong, of course i still get bummed about things, everyone does, but i dunno, i feel kind of bad for saying it but i feel like all my relationshiwith josh did last year was bring me down. Im not saying i regret going out with him or anything! It was some great years and memories together which now im getting to where i can acutally think about stuff that happened and laugh at the awesome stuff and appreciate it. Thats actually something someday id like to talk with josh about, just fun times and to know hopefully that he appreciates them too. Cause we grew and had alot of fun together, all in all it was great. But the last year was a downer, for both of us i think. And the more and more i look at him and me in general, i realize of course it could have never worked out. Not because of the distance, but who we are. Difference is great in relationships and friendships, but i should have known (and i wont go into detail or anything of course) that just from alot of things in general, his and my relationship could have never really developed into a healthy man-woman relastionship, heck i dont think i even wanted that with him, maybe i just thought i did since he was my first bf. (ill admit, i tend to be a little more on the dominant aggressive side, but ehh, oh well)

Of course some form of feeling will be there, though its nothing like it was. I will always care for him cause deep inside i still see him as one of my best friends who i used to run to when things got bad or good. But i knew a while ago that me and him would never be together, and this might sound bad and its not meant to, im just saying what i feel and have been feeling for a while. I honestly never want to be with him again. Wow. its hard for me to belive i just wrote that. Ive said it numerous times, but there's someting about seeing that in writing(or typing) thats different. I feel ive grown up from that, or maybe possibly i was already kind of too grown up for it for a while and thats wehre alot of the problems came from? Im def not trying to sound all superior about this, but alot of revelations have come to me since being back at a&m and looking at the life i am able to live freely now without that burden. (and burden's not really the right word, but its all i got, cause it wasnt negative the whole time at all) I just know i look at things there sometimes and it makes me sad. Makes me sad what he's doin, downhill-ness, makes me sad how we hardly ever talk (which is a very good thing by the way, there doesnt need to really be any talkage, but its great we can be totally polite to each other in front of others, one thing i was nervous about i admit, if anything i think we just ignore each other when we're around friends which is fine with me) I only wish and pray good things for him and that he can be happy. Though of course i dont want to know about parts of his girl life, i can truly say now with no resentment or any doubt that i desparatly want him to be happy. I want him to find somene who's great and awesome and will be accountable and supportive of him. Someone that will make him happy and her in return. I want him to be happy with his life, who he is, his friends and family, for him to realize all the great things in life and not dwell on negative. i just pray so much for him, and i know one day it will happen. But i feel like ive had pretty much my closure. Sure id like to know what the hell he was thinking when he pulled the crap he did, and one day i will ask him, im not afraid to. The last thing i am is afraid or nervous about asking that crap, but now im just curious about stuff. Sure i know some of it will get me upset but thats why if i ever do ask again, it will be awhile, or maybe never. Im so at rest with myself and whats happened and stuff that im fine with not really knowing. So ive come to an awesome place in my life concering that stuff.

Im also totally ok with me. I know how much God loves me, i know if i suck it up sometimes in school, make mistakes and feel dumb or like an idiot, he doesnt give a poop. I mean he gives a poop if i do, but it doesnt affect any of his feelings towards me. He's there for me, just wanting me. Wanting to love me and me to love him, and thats an amazing feeling.

I know of course i have faults....DUH....but im ok with those, and i still get insecure about things just like everyone else, but i like who i am. No wait, i LOVE who i am. I love my life and everything in it. Im blessed with awesome expereinces, friends, jokes and laughs, sorrows and bum times, hysterical and ecstatic moments. My family and friends are the best things i have giong for me. I love all of you! All who are reading this, cause quite honestly, unless i have no idea who you are and you're just reading a very random xanga entry, then i consider you my friend. There's not a single person (except maybe gross ross guy down here somewhere) that i dont consider a friend. You have all helped me so much, in ways you dont know, just little things, actions, comments, whatever. There's really no way to express my gratitude towards friends. I love you all and only hope i can be as great to you as you are all to me.

To sum up, im happy. Im like "in" joy right now if thats possible. Bad things do happen, and you will always go throgh down times, but i love looking at life's little things, squrriels running around with radio collars on, old black sbisa men whisteling to rap songs, BOOTS, and just being yourself is all great. You know, im so happy i think if i even met Hitler himself and i might be nice (well, maybe not, but thats to to show how up on this i all am) Anyways, to give a hurried update on recent events in stephanie's life..........

Ok, on to that guy i talked about in one of my last entries. Well, to be honest i was kind of giving up on stuff there. I mean dont get me wrong, we talk everytime we see each other. I now go in every Tuesday when he works and he almost is always the one to serve me. I know, no big deal, and now that i think about it im not gonna say much on here concering little things thats been happenin. If you want to know then ill def tell you in person cause it sounds better (and not as insane) but basically i was just kind of giving up on it cause it seemed like he was interested but nothin was happeing. I just having fun talking and being flirty with him and stuff. Well, i dont know if i was being more foward so maybe he took that as he could also be more forward or what but i def noticed a difference in how much we talked and how much HE talked this past week. Twice last week HE initiated the whole convo and topics and asked the questions. Originally it was all me. I mean it wasnt all only questions from me and answers from him, but i would always get it goin. Then last week (after several weeks of just casual convo between us) he started to initiate all the convos, it was great, but even though i know i do (and everyone can vouch for this) i TRIED not too look that much into it. (but i am a failure at this) Well it just left me in a good mood. Then kyndal came down this weekend which i will talk more about that later, but saturday night we were gonna go into Bernies (where he works and ill be working some next semester, its a little coffee shop if anyone didnt know) and we got food and stuff. (i wanted kyndal to see who this guy was that ive been crushing over) Well FIRST, he served me. I know i know, you're thinking lame, but i dont care. He was off in another part of the place scooping ice cream and stuff and then when it comes to be my turn at the counter he comes over and helps me. Now that could be a coincidence, so no more looking at that. We just talked the whole time and stuff and it was cool until i went to sit down. Well, i sat down with laura, kyndal, and crystal and then i saw him go take his break. I figured he went outside and my back was to the door and the little sofa area so i didnt see him leave. Well then they tell me that he was sitting kind of behind us on one of the chairs. I wanted to go talk to him and its was so funny me workin up the nerve, but basically i went to the potty room, and saw him on my way back and went over and just struck up a conversation. I think it went pretty well cause i made him laugh several times ( i know thats not a give away or anything but i usually take it as a good sign when they laugh) and then once when i asked him if he was off for the night he said no, and then i got all worried saying "oh im sorry, i dont mean to keep you, i dont want to get you into trouble," and he was like sayin it was ok and he was just gonna take a long break. He sounded like he didnt mind and actually enjoyed talking to me. Well of course he eventually had to leave so i went back to the table and he went outside to hurry and take a smokie break before coming back in. So i figure that was a move right? Not a huge one but def one. Kyndal told me she thinks he looked at us when he came back in and they also told me that a couple of times when we were just in there that he maybe looked at me. So that would be good if thats true!!! Well, ok i left and then we were gonna go do random stuff around campus, so i left my away message up saying i was around and call my cell. Well i hardly ever put my cell # on my away messages but i thought if he maybe got on his roomie's screename then he might see it (he doesnt have an aim thingy) But then i thought, well, he doesnt seem like the kind of guy who would jsut call someone even if he did get the number like that. Well guess what..he got online, left me a message on aim...AND THEN HE TEXT MESSAGED ME AND WE TEXTED UNTIL 2:30 IN THE MORNING!!!! It was soo cool. And he said that we need to hang out, outside of work sometime... .. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I was like screaming and screeching when this all happened, im a sneaky stephanie, oh yes, and a hysterical stephanie. But yeah, so that was awesome. That was last night so now he has my number. After he said we should hang out i told him that would be awesome and to call me up sometime. He works tonight but i dont really want him thinking im a weirdo (which he may already think that considering some of the stuff ive told him, but heck, he still talks to me so thats good) so i wont go in there tonight and ill go in on my regular tuesdayness. So we'll just have to wait and see if anything happens there.

This weekend was awesome. Kyndal came down and Laura drove and i rode with her to meet Miss Patton at a gas station (cause it was after dark when she was coming and it would just be safer to follow us back) We called up Austin to tell him kyndal was coming, brought her back to campus, took her to free birds and forced her to get a burrito. ( you have to, its law) Then we rented a couple of movies and watched a scary one in nat's room. then beddy bye. Next day we went to breakfast/lunch at Denny's, then showed Kyndal the bonfire memorial which is so awesome but sad. Then we got ready to go to Bonfire last night. Its not the official on campus bonfire but an orgaization does it and you pay a little fee for it and stuff. We took my car (OFF ROAD VEHICLE BABY!!!!!!!!!!) cause technically we were off road. (I am STILL in love with my van, so dont even think im being a traitor to the mini) I admit i was a little disappointed, but i know the people worked real hard and stuff and it was still a whole lot of fun and really awesome. We got there about 2 hours early and just kept ourselves entertained the whole time...im thinking people may have thought we were lesbos or something...who knows, it was awesome. But im thinkin we may have freaked larissa out. After bonfire we did the whole bernies thing, and then went around campus doing crazy crazy stuff. We started asking random people to take pitcutes with us and our toys (crystal had a nerf gun, i had a big red bouncy ball) we played on the quad (this is like 1:00 in the morning) with the ball, it was SOOOOOOO much fun. I honestly had no idea a big bouncy ball could be that much fun!!!! But it was!!! So we were just walking around randomly and doing strange things. Again, im sure people thought we were drunk, but its amazing how much fun and goofiness we can have without any dumb alcohol.

When we got back to the dorm, the whole texting with jarrod happened , and then all us girlies talked and watched a movie. Slept in today, went to the C store, got food, jsut bummed around and looked at crazy pics of last night until kyndal had to go.(sadness) I had so much fun. Ok im stoping now, this was long, but typos were better!!!! love you all!!!! Hope turkey day goes great!!!! toodles see ya
steph

Current Mood: giddygiddy

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